The Plot Thickens

The last time I quit my job, I found myself unable to cope. I had some money in the bank, some vague work prospects but absolutely no idea how i was going to live from one day to the next. I only knew that I would stay in the family house, sort out my things, furnish my room, set up a small office for my writing and everything should fall into place. It didn't happen. From the time I moved into my family home, I began getting sick. I missed my old life. I was unhinged and I didn't know how to fill my days. There was absolutely nothing for me to do. I tried pursuing some leads to projects that I was eyeing but found it exhausting. I was living outside the city and the commute was long and totally inconvenient. It was going to cost a lot of money to go to town in a car with a driver. It was difficult to make long distance calls.

A storm came, followed by floods. I hurt myself once and had to be rushed to a hospital in the city. Then I thought I was having a heart attack and was confined for a few days at ICU. I was slowly realising how difficult living in the province was going to be. I was out of place, my rhythm didn't match those of people around me. The ease with which I managed my life studying and working in the city while staying at my family home had disappeared. It was replaced with chaos and madness. Sheer madness.

Within a few weeks, I decided to move out of the country again to look for a job. I didn't know that it would take longer to find a suitable job. Previously, I had offers lined up; previously I was being poached. But with the economic downturn forcing newer and some languishing titles to close shop, I was suddenly left without options. I wrote to headhunters and publishing companies, sent resumes to polytechnics and book publishers, but editors were just not in demand. In fact, no one was in demand - people were being let go.

The few publishers who were holding franchises still had to go ahead and launch their magazines before they lose more money - some of them folded before a year was over - and some who have already collected seed money for new titles also had no choice but to go ahead. The only way for most them to remain viable was to recruit younger, cheaper editors and staff. With magazines relying more and more on flash and photos, and with bloggers beating professional journalists with breaking news, cheap was clearly the way to go.

Unfortunately, it wasn't for me. Leaving home meant that I would set myself up in a decent place, start over, buy things. There will be bills before and after the first month is over. Utility bills will have to be paid, but even before reaching that, installation of phones, power, water etc will have to be seen to. Rent will have to be settled as well - thankfully, the property market was softening; expats were leaving and being replaced by locals, and rent was starting to come down - a month in advance plus another month deposit, agent's fee, moving. Before one finally settles in, a big chunk of his savings will have been taken out and spent.

Getting started also means for most people new clothes or at least sending the old ones to a decent dry cleaner. Going out will also be a part of the routine because you're not likely to meet people who can help you find a job in your own living room, wearing singlets and boxers. You have to host a gathering, buy people coffee, get on social networks and get the word out. You are re-launching the brand you, and you have to do it with some splash but with as much less cash as you can manage.

I decided that I had no other choice but do it.

i quit my job as editor-at-large of a small publishing firm in southeast asia. i have no immediate plans workwise, but i have been thinking about taking time off to travel, paint and maybe write some stories.

i don't even know how i'm going to support myself. money will be tight, savings must not be touched, sacrifices will have to be made.

but i'm also turning fifty next year and if i don't embark on this now, i may never get the chance again. let's say that i will spend the next six months on this wild ride, from september 11, the day after my last day at work.

first on my agenda, secure some sources of income - anything! - just to make sure i'm not going to ask my family for support and that i can continue on the six-month journey!

okay, i'm finally letting go... bon voyage!